So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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