I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
