By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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