Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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