I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We left an ass print on the piano.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
