is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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