Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
