Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
