CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
