Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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