Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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