I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
