Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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