The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
