note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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