U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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