Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
