shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
