big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
