I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
