im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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