well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
