Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I met the friendliest cop last night
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
