I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sponge bath it is.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
