from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
