Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
