she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize