I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize