the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
