Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
