That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Randomize
