In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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