FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
