I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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