sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
