Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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