DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
