Nicole vs. Life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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