We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
