Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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