ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
soo... how was my night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
