You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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