I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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