Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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