How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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