He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
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halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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