great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
4 words: hood of his car
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
