So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She even gives head with a lisp.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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