i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
