Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
