I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize