words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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