"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
