there's paper in my vomit.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
