After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
