your room smells of hookers.
And success
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
