Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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