just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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