its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?