hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
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Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He shit in the fireplace