is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?