I don't think brook has ever known best
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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