Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize