and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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